INTRODUCTION
Etymology of the word

The art is long, life is short, opportunity fleeting, experiment dangerous,  judgment difficult. - Hippocrates

Cancer is as old as human history. The word cancer, as defined in Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, has more than a couple of distinctly different meanings that expand from the stars above to much more earthly definitions. How is it that one word can describe two completely different worlds? How do the Cancer of the stars and cancer of the human body relate?

Stars continuously surround us. Humans are made of the stuff of stars, so it is no wonder that since the beginning of time we have looked to them. As American astronomer and astrophysicist, Carl Sagan infamously stated, “The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars.”

The human body is made up of an abundance of crucial elements proven to be the same as the stars of the Milky Way, but some of these stars are considered to be more special to us than others. Since ancient times wonder and mystery have been associated with these stars and these majestic celestial bodies were given often grandiose, spiritual meanings.

Our modern constellation system was established by the ancient Sumerians, and later by the ancient Greeks, with the oldest written description of the constellations coming from a poem written about 270 B.C. by the Greek poet Aratus, called Phaenomena.  Because Earth orbits in a flat plane around the sun, for thousands of years we have seen the sun against the same stars again and again, year after year at the same time. At these regular intervals are the constellations of the Zodiac - the twelve constellations that mark out the path in which the sun appears to travel over the course of one calendar year.

The zodiac is derived from the Greek word meaning "circle of animals," because most of these twelve constellations are represented by them. It is believed to have first developed in ancient Egypt and later adopted by the Babylonians. Babylonian astronomers divided the ecliptic into twelve signs indicative of the 12 lunar cycles that it takes for the sun to return to its original position.

The zodiacal constellation, Cancer, is most popularly explained in Greek mythology with association to Karcinos, (the Greek word for crab or crayfish) in one of the Twelve Labors of Hercules. During one of Hercules’ battles with Hydra, Hera sent Karcinos to distract Hercules. Hercules kicked the crab with a force so powerful he was thrust into the heavens. It is said that for Karcinos’ efforts, Hera marked an eternal place for him in the night sky.  

The more earthly definition and origin of the word cancer, also relates to karkinos and is credited to the Greek physician Hippocrates (460-370 BC), considered to be the “Father of Medicine.” Hippocrates used the term karkinos (carcinos) to describe any non-healing swelling or ulcerous formations. More than likely applied to the disease due to the tumors swollen veins and finger-like protrusions resembling that of the shape of a crab. Typical to Greek practice of the time, Hippocrates only observed outwardly visible tumors leading some to theorize that due to the hard nature of malignant tumors, it may have reminded him of the crustacean’s hard exoskeleton.

About 47AD, the Greco-Roman encyclopaedist, Aulus Cornelius Celsus (28AD-50 BC), wrote a noteable encyclopedia of medicine translating the Greek term into cancer, the Latin word for crab. Interestingly enough, Celsus was not a physician, but simply a Greek educated Roman aristocrat with a general education for the time, but a very strong interest in medicine. Nonetheless, he is accredited to giving one of the biggest plagues to modern society the name by which the Western world refers to it today.

Though Hippocrates and Celsus are given credit to the origin of the word, they were not the first known authors to write about the subject. Human beings, animals and plants have had cancer throughout recorded history, so it should come as no surprise that humans have been writing about cancer since the dawn of civilization. While reference to cancer is sparse with regard to archaeological records, the remains of a Siberian man dating from the Early Bronze Age roughly 4,500 years ago is conclusively regarded as one of the oldest, if not the oldest, absolute cases of human cancer thus recorded. However, the earliest description of the illness comes from Ancient Egypt and dates back to 1600BC as found in the Edwin Smith Surgical Papyrus, named after the dealer who bought the manuscript in 1862.

In these ancient times, Astronomy and Astrology were treated together as sister sciences. In modern times the science of astronomy has concluded that astrology, though based in astronomical principles is considered valueless to modern science and having no scientific validity. In the 17^th century, astrology the once considered scholarly tradition that helped in driving the development of astronomy was irrefutably renounced.

Still today, humans have been drawn to what some consider a pseudoscience, and others consider a form of divination that connects constellations to human behavior. Perhaps in sheer fascination, or as a means of analyzing or better understanding their own personalities by knowing where the stars were in the sky at the very time and place that they entered the natural world.

Every human being born on our planet will not be born under the sign of Cancer; only those born between June 20th and July 22^nd will be designated crabs. However, just as we are made of the stuff of stars, every person on Earth has microscopic cancer cells living inside of them.

In the mid-1970s, American microbiologists John Michael Bishop and Harold Varmus’ testing of Todaro and Heubner’s “oncogene theory,” fundamentally changed the way that cancer is viewed today. They were able to prove that “healthy body cells contain dormant viral oncogenes that, when triggered, cause cancer.”

In David Servan-Schreiber’s book Anti-Cancer: A New Way of Life, he states:

“Cancer lies dormant in all of us. As in all living organisms, our bodies are making defective cells all of the time. Our bodies are also equipped with a number of mechanisms that detect and keep such cells in check. In the West, one in four people will die from cancer, but three of the four will not. Their defense mechanisms will hold out and they will die of other causes.”

Cancer Researcher, President and Medical Director of the Angiogenesis Foundation, Dr. William Li describes these two very important defenses to be “our immune system as well as our body’s natural ability to resist blood vessels from growing into and feeding cancer.” But as Dr. Servan-Schreiber suggests, for one out of four of us, one or both of these two internal defenses’ will ultimately fail.

Cancer is not one, but numerous diseases. All of which are identified with the word due to the fact that they all share one fundamental feature: the uncontrolled growth and division of a single cell. A recent scientific study estimates that the human body is made up of approximately 37.2 trillion cells that are continuously dividing to keep us healthy. Normal cells in the body follow an orderly path of growth, division, and death. When the body’s normal control mechanism stops working, cancer is born. Old cells do not die and instead continue to grow uncontrollably forming new abnormal cells with the same damaged DNA as the first. These mutated cells grow too fast, multiply too often, spread and invade other tissues; something that normal cells do not. These extra cells that the body does not need typically go on to form a mass of tissue – a tumor. It only takes one out of trillions of cells in our bodies to mutate for cancer to take form. If or when it does, it is rare to know exactly what causes any one person’s cancer. People can inherit abnormal or faulty DNA, but most often DNA damage is caused by mistakes that happen while the normal cell is reproducing or by something in our environment. 

Nevertheless, at some point in my life that will forever be undeterminable, one of my internal defense mechanisms failed and with reference to statics, I became the one out of the four. The way I continue to look at it is that I was born into a family of four daughters. One of us was bound to develop cancer and I am grateful that the dreaded "c-word" beset itself in me and not in them for I was the one most equipped to fight in the battle.

Cancer is as old as human history, a history spanning over 4,000 years. Just as humans have been writing about cancer since man could draw, this journal is the written history of my cancer and is a story of optimism. The story of a Louisiana crab waging a battle on what Siddhartha Mukherjee calls the “Emperor of All Maladies;” a battle in which countless humans have fought since the beginning of time as we as humans know it.

I have attempted to shine a light on the days, weeks and years of my personal journey as a Cancer with cancer in the hopes that those who choose to read this: whether it be friends who would like to have a better understanding of the obstacles I have faced or answers to questions that they have been afraid to ask - or - those who like myself have found themselves afflicted with this most unfortunate of circumstance within the human condition, be able to find a story in which they can in some way relate. Something with which I found to be one of the biggest struggles. When I was diagnosed with stage IV brain cancer at twenty-eight, I entered into a realm of the un-relatable, which at times was more frustrating than the cancer and it's treatments themselves. And I ask only for myself, with regard to the macrocosmic picture and that unanswered age old question: isn’t that just one, if not the fundamental reason(s) that we we are all here ... to relate?

My hope is that those of you, who find yourselves here plagued by brain cancer or any other kind of illness, be able to draw from this journal the inspiration to educate yourself. Though at times it will bring you to tears or to your knees in absolute fear read about your illness. Read your personal medical reports. Ask your doctors questions. Take notes, question, and research everything they tell you. With this, become an advocate for yourself. For you are the only person that really knows you. Even the greatest minds in medical research will never be able to understand the whole that is you.

Most important of all, I would like to stress the importance of positivity. For the way we think about this battlefield of life, can either expand or reduce the control we have over it. Our thoughts, absolutely, have the power to impact what ensues. 

Fyodor Dostoyevsky wrote in a personal correspondence in 1839,

“To study the meaning of man and of life – I am making significant progress here. I have faith in myself. Man is a mystery: If you spend your entire life trying to puzzle it out, don’t say that you’ve wasted time. I occupy myself with this mystery because I want to be a man.”

With this diagnosis of cancer, Dostoyevsky’s letter takes on a new meaning for me. I have found faith in myself. The veil has been lifted, for the gift of cancer has opened my eyes and given me perspective. Like my cancer and the constellations of the celestial sphere, it has always been there, but the time had not been right for it to come to light. I now know that life is a marvelous gift to which we are given only a fleeting glimpse. Life is indeed short and despite the fact that I will continue to stare my own mortality in the face, I know now more than ever that I too “want to be a (hu)man” and even more importantly that I want to live.

This journal relies in part on the books, medical journals, studies, articles, archives, websites and encyclopedias that I have read in an effort to better understand and educate myself about this biological paradigm that even after 4000 years experts of the subject still do not fully understand.

This journal is in no way a scholarly article and should not be taken for one. It is, however, based in fact, based on research, as well as personal experiences and personal opinion. Like our ancestors of the great civilizations of antiquity, I recognize that Astrology is not for everyone and has no merit scientifically. And although, I consider myself to forever be a student and great admirer of astronomy, mathematics, science, and nature; astrology has always resonated with me. With that being said, the Cancer that I am is well represented within.

This is the journal of a Cancerian woman that feels undoubtedly connected to the collective consciousness of the universe on Earth, and conjointly a cancer patient that feels that spiritual connection while fighting to live in the highly scientific, and skeptical medical world.   

I realize that the last bit may be lost on some. At times I am sure that I may perplex, confuse, or even offend some of you, and to those that my writings morally or otherwise offends, please know that this is not my intention. Sometimes I will use real names, and though I would like to share the name of the hospital, as well as the both marvelous and not so marvelous doctors, nurses, fellows, technicians, coordinators, and hospital staff that I have had the fortune and even misfortune of meeting, I have either changed their names or left it out completely as to avoid any legal repercussions.

© Erin F. Buckley 2017